Guys, it’s honesty time. I love laughing and smiling but you know what? It’s hard to be a Positive Percy all the time. Real talk. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how good something is, those seeds of doubt creep into our minds and grow into a negative thought spiral of an oak tree and it’s all downhill from here. Let me tell you a bit of a secret – no one is born with limitless self-confidence.
There are a whole bunch of things that can sway our confidence – from a fight with a partner to a negative review at work. On top of all of these life factors that can rock the boat, we then have to deal with the little old inner critic of self-doubt that niggles and tells us we’re not good enough. When it can feel so overwhelming that so many factors keep threatening to rock our self-confidence, we need to take charge of building it up (and keeping it up) for ourselves. That little voice in our brain telling us we’re doing a bad job has more power than it should.
Nothing should ever stop you from pursuing anything, especially the fear of failure stemmed from your self-confidence – or lack of it. How do we overcome the fear? By working on self-love, confidence, and esteem. When I created my online health and fitness program tiffxo.com, I wanted to ensure that I wasn’t just providing fitness and meal plans to help with physical health, because mindfulness and mental wellbeing are just as critical to the concept of #happyfit. Self-confidence is really the mastery of one’s mind – it’s about having control over your thoughts and not letting them control you.
Try these things to help change your thought processes and become more confident:
First things first
It’s all about identifying the negative thoughts and changing them into positive ones. If you’re sitting there concerned about what could go wrong, switch it up and think about what could go right. You can only think one thought at a time, so changing the negative thoughts into positive ones will stop the spiral. A negative thought is just a thought. It does not have the power to change things and it only has the power that you give it, gaining momentum when you think them over and over. Stop giving the negative vibes the power! Swap that negative for a positive and get the control back.
Repeat after me
Mantras are a great way build your confidence and self worth when they are repeated over-and-over. Start your day off with saying something positive to yourself. Try “I will continue to learn and grow”, “I am worthy of all the good things that happen in my life”, Or “I acknowledge my own self-worth; my self confidence is rising.”
Close the door on Debbie Downer
Acknowledge the thoughts that weigh you down -the ones that don’t serve a purpose other than to get stuck in your brain. Tell yourself some releasing statements – “It’s okay to be upset” or “I forgive myself for procrastinating”. This takes away the need to emotionally bash yourself – you can now redirect your energy into helpful things rather than telling yourself you’re doing a bad job at life. Remind yourself you’re a work in progress – and that is okay! Actually, it’s encouraged.
This may seem like an obvious step you’re already doing in day to day life, but make sure you are keeping up with the grooming side of things. Clean hair and a shower have amazing powers to make you feel better about yourself. Stand tall too. When you stand tall and straight you are already posing in the way a confident person would, even if you’re not yet feeling it on the inside.
Time to photoshop your mental image
How we see ourselves means a lot to us, often more than we realise. Because we have this mental idea of what we look like in our heads, it can determine how confident we are. If you’re sitting there constantly imagining Shrek sitting in your office chair, you’re not gonna feel so great about yourself. You can change this picture! Use your mental photoshopping skills and change your self image. It’s no ogre sitting doing that spreadsheet, it’s a fierce warrior queen ready to battle.
Forget the to do list, make a great list
I love lists but that’s a story for another time. One of my fave tricks to do when you’re having a bit of a tough time is create a GREAT list. Sit down and make a list of all the things you’re thankful for (even the little things like extra crunchy peanut butter) and a second list of all of the things you’re proud of achieving (maybe it was that horrible report or that 1000 piece puzzle or even your listening skills or amazing sense of humour). Put your lists somewhere you see them often, the bathroom mirror or the fridge door so you can be constantly and easily reminded of all of the amazing things in your life and if you’re having a negative Nancy moment, look at your lists and let your own awesome self inspire you.
Look in the mirror a few times a day and smile. Seeing a happy smiley face (even if you’re faking it till you make it a little) can encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So if your noggin sees that beaming smile shining out of your face every day, slowly you’ll start feeling happier with what you see and more confident in the long run. People love a smile too and they’re infectious – you’ll get a nice happy boost from the smiles you receive in return.
Keep your friends close
Keep a positive support network around you (my Ninjas on TIFFXO.com get the benefit of a fantastic private community!) and make sure you connect with those who are close to you to keep your perspective on the right track. Stay away from toxic people and relationships that don’t fill you with joy.
Comparison is the thief of joy
It’s an oldie but a goodie. Building on your self confidence means focusing on improving YOUR life for the better, not trying to replicate someone else’s. Someone else’s intelligence, money, beauty and social status is totally irrelevant! What matters is caring about your goals and dreams. Make that the focus and you will find more positive thoughts start blooming as you achieve your goals.
I like to move it move it
But actually, it helps. A big part of self care and looking after yourself is making sure you move your body regularly. Exercise releases endorphins and makes you feel good, leading to a more positive outlook on life. It doesn’t have to be something that takes up your whole day either. Try a TIFFXO workout or take the dog on a new adventure.
Join TIFFXO now www.tiffxo.com