“We are not defined by our emotions.”
Ah emotions. That old chestnut. Sometimes I’m sure life without emotion would be so much easier!
Its seems as though the more introspective work I do on myself and with my patients it is becoming more apparent that we are beginning to have an expectation as to what kind of emotions we are supposed to be feeling and I am here to tell you that life and it’s lessons doesn’t work that way. You are not the slave to your emotions unless you allow yourself to be!
I will be the first to say that I too have not only encountered a huge array of pains and challenges in life, but what really surprised me most was coming to the realisation that not only was I experiencing these emotions, but I was also actively seeking them out and manifesting them.
The problem came when some situations got out of hand, and just slow enough to make me go numb. Hello depression, nice to meet you.
Now, according to universal law, If you feel an emotion and choose to ignore it, your body physiology and/or intuition will step in to point out that you are not being congruent, not being true to yourself and ultimately, not loving yourself enough to honor yourself.
If that continues and you ignore it, your social world kicks in to wake you up. Ever had your parents, siblings or friends start asking all kinds of annoying questions like ‘what’s wrong with you lately?’ or my favorite, ‘you are working too much and spending too much time on that phone!’ As annoying as it seems they are trying to help.
Finally if all previous attempts have failed then it is time for Murphy’s Law or karma to step in with a set of spiritually humbling circumstances. AKA rock bottom… and what a place that is. All of a sudden you are thrown into a jail with no key, no food, no guards, no light and no idea how long it can take to get out. Judge Judy has buggered off to lunch and turned her phone off.
This is the point at which I feel most interventions and self help books fail. I would like to share what has benefitted me, and many of my patients, and if it helps just one person that reads this, my words will have certainly been worth it.
Firstly, your emotions have a reason for their existence so listen to them. They are trying to steer you true.
Secondly, give yourself permission to love and honor yourself and what you actually want, even if it means that you feel as though your actions may hurt someone’s feelings.
On that point I will go a step further. We are all part of a universal consciousness that is in perfect balance. I believe that human psychology, just like the laws of physics that govern our universe are balanced. The law of conservation. When you feel as though something is good or bad, look for its complimentary opposite, it will always be there. This is where the victim can become the master.
For example, if you ever feel guilty for something that you have done to someone, it is wise to write down all the ways that both you and said person benefit. The more positive associations that you make, the more equilibrated the mind will become. This in essence is the beginning of a process that can help to balance perceptions, balance emotions and therefore put the power of your mind and body back in your hands.
Finally, there are lots of books, audio and Youtube clips on expanding awareness and consciousness. This might be a good time to begin your journey of self- discovery to define who you are and what you actually want from life. If you are dis-empowered in an area of life, you may leave yourself vulnerable and may subordinate to someone else’s idea of how life should be. I can tell you that that is a one-way road to resentment and self depreciation.
Most of what I have discussed can be quite challenging so if you are not ready for such a journey; that is fine. There are many other ways to support yourself and slowly chip away at what troubles you. Here are a few things that may help:
- Mindfulness and meditation. There is an old zen saying that everybody should meditate for 20 minutes a day, unless you are too busy, then meditate for an hour a day! Meditations had shown to lower anxiety, helps gain clarity and can calm the mind. However, be mindful to not run from any perceived problems with your meditation practice. Be present and acknowledge emotions that you feel.
- Exercise such as Yoga, running and love making has shown to combat depression long term according to James Gordon, MD.
- Alternate medicine such as Chiropractic, Osteopathy, Massage and acupuncture has had patients report feelings of relaxation and presence post treatment.
- Taking care of your body from a nutritional point of view is also wise, eating light, balanced meals that nourish the body. More information on diets can be found in other twosixmag posts.
Article by Dr. Lorenzo Mirabelli
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