How Do You Honour Yourself And Those You’re In Relationship With?

June 1, 2015

Have you ever thought about how you’d like to honour yourself and those that you’re in relationship with?

This is something I’ve been delving into over the last little while… bringing deeper consciousness to my relationships, by speaking openly and honestly, from my heart.

Unless we’re showing up authentically, how do we deepen in connection with one another?

It has not been without fear, or assumption of how I would be received, or concern that it would upset those I’m in relationship with.

Many times I’ve had to anchor into deep courage because, what if what I needed to say wasn’t going to be honoured, or what if it was met with anger?

Often when we hold back from saying what we know is true for us, it’s out of fear of how we will be received, because we’re struggling to receive and honour that truth within us.

This is the bit that ultimately needs healing.

It’s also out of fear of change.

What if something we say changes the patterns in our relationship? Even when we know something isn’t working, we know the pattern, and this reliability speaks to our need for comfort.

What I’ve learned along the way is that it’s not really about how my words are received, or how I’m accepted.

What it’s really about is honouring my own knowing.

It’s about me accepting me. It’s about personal liberation.

How we feel is never really about the other person. Those we’re in relationship with are our teachers and our mirrors.

They’re the ones who show us what needs to be healed, and they give us the opportunity to be healed. We do this for them too.

In those moments where I’ve honoured my commitment to speaking my truth, instead of the fear based reactions I expected (rejection, being told I was wrong, that my truth would be minimised), the opposite has happened.

What I learned is that speaking my truth only accelerated a deepening of relationship, with others and myself.

There’s a catch though: when speaking your truth, own it.

Don’t unravel into blame, or the expectation that someone else will do the healing for you, or that they’ll respond in a particular way.

For the one relationship that did temporarily fall away, owning my truth was the catalyst for profound healing for the both of us, and the end of a dysfunctional pattern. Now our relationship is the healthiest it’s ever been, and I’m incredibly proud of both of us.

Healing comes from honouring your truth.

What is it that you need to say?

  • When you speak, speak with compassion for yourself and others. This is speaking from the heart.
  • Practice 100% integrity and authenticity. This is true intimacy.
  • Take your conversations where you need them to go.


Much love and soul wellness,

Mel Farrugia


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Where to visit Mel…Lower Ground/69-71 Flinders Lane, Melbourne, VIC 3000

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