Self Love Vs Social Expectation

May 29, 2015

Do you ever sit back and wonder whether you are living your life for you?

This is a question that really changed the way I look at others, the world and myself. Only on reflection do I realise I was doing things wrong. I have a feeling it’s the same way many of us feel for a long time – stuck!

It’s amazing how other people’s opinions can have such an effect on us, it can be poison. We can have an idea that we are really excited about, and once someone tells us why you can’t do it, self-doubt creeps in and we leave that idea behind for someone else who is much more self-assured to take it on and succeed with it.

I have lived a time in my life where I was living for the recognition of others. I trained to get the body I would be complimented on. When I partied I judged my night on meeting girls. I played Football to make my father proud. However, none of these things made me happy. I went through a very insecure time in my life, where I felt my identity was my physique (body image), my partying, and my football. Outside of that I didn’t have a lot of confidence that everyone would like the real me. It wasn’t until I had an incident with people I thought were close friends. I was betrayed and I realized, being liked by everyone is not something to strive for.

I went on a self-finding mission and after going through many sessions with a psychologist; I delved into who the real me is, the way I act and the way I think. I have finally come to understand myself and have a nurtured relationship with myself that doesn’t need the recognition from outsiders. I have found the people I want in my life, who are drawn to my true self.

If we live a lie, we will continually need the acceptance of others and will no doubt be constantly let down. As time goes by I am becoming better at understanding those moments where I may feel insecure, I talk to myself, and say “It’s ok, you’re being honest with yourself, and if these people judge you because of that, then they are not the people for you”. No bitterness, just an understanding and love for one’s self.  No matter how crazy we might be!

Article by Marcus White 

Marcus is a health coach from Melbourne, Victoria who has an extreme passion for health and wellbeing. He comes from a high-level athletic background and believes hard training, good nutrition and an understanding and love for one’s self-are the a key ingredients to help create a life of happiness and adventure.

I: @the_life_athlete


Visit Marcus at Ascot Fitness – 289 Maribyrnong rd Ascot Vale





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